Engage Engorgements: JeanNSFW

The Divine Dragon's party approached the Grand Crossing, ready to confront the bandits who had been robbing passersby who had to cross the bridge.

"Okay, I know my art, I have my staff, I have my vulnerary, I'm ready to fight. I am. I can do this," Jean repeated to himself. It was the fourth time he had given himself this pep talk in the last five minutes. "It's the first step toward my dream."

Céline raised her eyebrows at Alear. She was not dressed for battle, as the Divine One had asked her to sit this one out due to "concerns about crowding" that she was nearly certain were more like "concerns about being called out for her terrible tactical decisions." "Are you not going to train the boy before sending him out to battle? There wasn't exactly much left in the battle for his village by the time you lured him away from his parents."

"He wanted to go, I was trying to tell him to go back inside! And we need as many hands as we can get," Alear said, shrugging. "Besides, I took him to the arena. He learned what combat is like. Now he wants to fight."

Anna looked smug at this. "I beat him every time."

Indeed, she had - and quite embarrassingly, too. Onlookers to their "training" session had seen Anna knock the little doctor on the ground, swing her axe at his face, step on his chest, and yell "Boom! You're dead!" Three times in a row, in fact. It was only thanks to the anti-violence magic of the Somniel's arena that he had survived all three humiliating defeats at all, let alone without a scratch.

It had not inspired confidence in anyone except Jean, who had insisted he was ready to fight for real. After all, he'd reasoned, he didn't need to hurt anyone. All he had to do was help Framme with healing and be ready to defend himself if he was attacked.

"This is a Firenese citizen, an ordinary villager who should be protected," Céline said. "He should stay with me, out of the fight."

"How about you stay with me?" Framme offered, holding a hand out to Jean. "Us healers have to stick together, after all."

Jean took her hand, smiling weakly. "Thank you, that would help..."

"You too, Lady Anna," Framme said, beckoning to the young girl. "You can teach Jean some of your tricks if we all stick together!"

"Okay, but now you gotta pay up. The first session's free, but I'm not running a charity here," Anna said, arms folded and face stone cold serious.

Alear rolled her eyes, laughing. "Lady Anna, I'll cover the cost of his training. It's part of building my army. Anyway, you three stick together, and stay close to me."

"All right," Céline said, one eyebrow still raised. "But you had better bring him back alive."

...

But as often is the case in battle, things did not quite go as planned.

"Prince Alcryst! Stay behind me!" Lapis cried as she clashed swords with a pegasus-riding bandit.

"You get behind me!" Alcryst replied, bow at the ready. "I'll shoot these ruffians out of the sky! I owe that much to you!"

"Sheesh, you two, how about you both get inside me," the bandit suggested, knocking Lapis's sword out of her hand and getting in Alcryst's face. "You're the worst type of couple..."

"Aah! I'm sorry! I can't do this alone!" Alcryst whimpered, unable to get a second's breath to aim with a sword in his face. "I'm not Diamant!"

Over on the front lines, Diamant was struggling in a clash with two bandits on foot, barely managing to keep his sword in his hands. He dodged away as a third joined the fray. "Ugh... I can't do it alone either, little brother!"

"Don't worry, you'll be together again soon," one of the bandits fighting Diamant sneered, grinning.

The bandit menacing Alcryst took issue at this. "Hoi! This one's mine! I'm eating the happy couple!"

"Well, I want the brothers, and blood is thicker than water, so tough shit!"

"We're too spread out!" Alear yelled, kicking away a bandit who had been swiping at her and taking advantage of the bandits' squabble to redirect her troops. "Etie and Boucheron, fall back to support Alcryst and Lapis! Alfred, support Diamant! Framme, leave the little ones out of danger and provide some healing!"

"I'm on my way!!" Alfred called, galloping toward the Brodian prince. "Muscle buddies can't lose! We should see who has the bigger muscles while we're fighting together! I'll help wipe them down after this fight!"

"Stay here and stay quiet, you two," Framme said, patting Jean and Anna's heads. "I'll be back."

"What about me?" Jean asked, sensing an opportunity to finally get into the fight. "I can heal, too! I'll go where I'm needed! Yunaka, do you perhaps need-"

"Absolutely not❤"

Yunaka buried another dagger in a bandit's forehead. She was having the time of her life - crouched atop a fortification, just waiting for her opponents to drop their guard and rush the apparently-abandoned fortification before letting loose on them. Babysitting was a complication she didn't need right now.

"Er, okay, yeah." Jean looked down, embarrassed. "Anna, what do I do when I don't know what to do?"

"First of all, like I said, please don't be so formal with me. I must insist you call me Lady Anna," Anna said. She put her hands on her hips. "And what I always do is, I find someone who's having a fight with someone else, and I, bam! cut off their legs like they're a tree. And the person who's fighting with them is always really grateful."

Jean considered this. He didn't have an axe, nor the strength to use one, but... He scanned the battlefield. An injured woman mounted on a pegasus was hefting her spear, aiming it at the Divine One's back!

This was his chance. He could save the Divine Dragon and prove he was to be taken seriously in battle!

He sprinted toward the flying spearwoman, giving a practiced leap into the air to land on her pegasus's back. He drew back a fist...

... and lost his balance, tumbling off the pegasus to the ground below.

Amidst a haze that his rattled brain sluggishly informed him might very well be a concussion, he saw Anna giving him a huge thumbs up. Even shaking it up and down. Was she making fun of him? Well, he was fine, thank you very much. Just a small... head trauma... He gave her a defiant thumbs-up back.

She shook her head furiously, giving a thumbs-up again and then looking up.

He mirrored her, looked up - and saw the spearwoman circling in closer. All he could do was stare as she hooked her spear under his backpack strap and lifted him into the air, carrying him away from the bridge.

Anna slapped her forehead in exasperation, readying her axe.

"Well, now, aren't you a cute one," the spearwoman teased. "What are you doing out in the middle of battle?"

"I warn you, I am quite dangerous," Jean assured her, adopting a fighting stance as well as he could while dangling over the abyss far below. "I have extensively studied the art of using my body as a weapon."

"Any of the study not come from a book?" The spearwoman guffawed, looking him over. "You really should have run home to your mama when you had the chance~"

"I have extensively studied human anatomy, as I'm going to be a great doctor one day," Jean insisted.

"The only anatomy you should be worried about is mine~" the spearwoman teased. "How about you explore my anatomy for a hands-on lesson?"

"You'll see! My friends will rescue m-mmph! Hmmpph!!"

The spearwoman had taken some cloth rope and begun wrapping Jean in it - starting with his mouth. Whenever he moved to fight back, she tipped the spear forward, making him reflexively grab on to the spear out of fear of falling.

"Yeah, I don't think so. I'm taking my treat and leaving so I can be sure that won't happen." Having thoroughly tied him down, she secured him to the saddle like a saddlebag, swooping toward the bandit hideout she'd come from. "Thanks for the meal~"

As the battle shrank and faded from view, Jean could vaguely make out Anna standing on the edge of the bridge wall waving goodbye to him.

...

The battle ended soon after, with the concentrated forces of the Divine Dragon repelling the bandits.

But not all was relief...

"Lady Anna, where's Jean?!" Framme asked as she jogged back to where she'd left the children. "Get off the wall, that's dangerous!"

Anna pointed at the horizon, hopping down off the bridge wall. "Some lady picked him up and took him that way."

"P-Picked him up and- He was kidnapped?!" Framme gasped, flagging down the Divine Dragon. "Divine One, Jean was taken by one of the bandits!"

"How?" Alear asked, drawing her sword again. "When was that?"

"I dunno... like 10 minutes ago?" Anna said. She pointed at her perch. "I was gonna try and get him, but I couldn't fly."

"Ten minutes ago..." Alear sheathed her sword, trotting toward their small encampment. "Damn. On a pegasus? We'd never be able to find them..."

Céline was waiting for her when they approached. "Let me guess - the boy was devoured."

Alear held up a hand. "Let's not jump to conclusions. Anna, you didn't see him get eaten, did you?"

"Nope!" Anna was counting her wages from the fight, unconcerned by the talks of Jean's disappearance.

"See? He might be fine," Alear said, smiling. "Maybe he's serving as a doctor for her! Maybe she had a friend who was very ill and she took him to take care of her friend! She might be treating him like a king right now, showering him in love and safety!"

Céline tilted her head disapprovingly. "Do you really believe that?"

Alear's shoulders sank. "... No, he's definitely on his way to becoming ass fat."

"Hm." Céline shook her head. "I've been reading about training wyverns ever since I met Tiki. I think I have the perfect solution."

...

Alear heaved a massive sigh from where she stood in front of the cafe counter in the Somniel. "How long do I have to do this?"

"Until everyone is fed," Céline said, sipping lightly at her tea. "My brother and his retainers should be in from training soon, that's another three."

"What's that around your neck?" Etie asked as she approached, leaning forward and squinting to read the sign. "'I Stole A Boy From His Parents And Got Him Eaten A Week Later'... Hah! Is that about Jean?"

Céline couldn't completely hide her grin. "Shame is the only way they learn."

"I'm improving," Alear mumbled, cheeks burning. Céline was rapidly becoming a problem...