Nameday hangover NSFW

Author's note: This is to celebrate Hime (@avoreable)'s birthday, which is in May! In fact, it's all of May. May is Hime commemoration month. It features her Reina Valette, as well as cameos from Kait (@omniewrong)'s Katrja Lyrnn, Rose (@Rose_Rumbles)'s Alun Borlaaq, and EerieViolet (@EerieViolet/@EerieVorelet)'s Lilsi Kowa!

Happy birthday, Hime! You're the best and we love your flavor :'3

"Tala. Tala. Tala. Tala."

Tala's head thunders with the force of a thousand Gravity spells. Like someone crushed her head with a million Stone IVs. Like-

Her stomach hurts, too. The pulses of pain seem to coincide with the illusory sensation that someone is calling her name.

... No, wait, someone actually is calling her name. But it's very quiet, and very muffled, blessedly. Still too loud for the force of her headache, though.

"wha, what," Tala mumbles. "I'm awake."

"Are you? It's about time!" That's unmistakably Reina's voice. "Get up."

"Ugghh..." Tala looks toward the door. "Mcoming... sorry, did I lock you out of the bedroom?"

"No."

Reina's voice isn't coming from the door.

"Ah, f..." Tala swings her legs over the bed. "Sorry, sorry... how much did I drink last night?"

"Judging by the alcohol smell in here, it was a lot," Reina says. "Do you know what day it is?"

"It's... um..." Tala's head throbs warningly as she tries to put it to work. "Do I have work, or..."

"It's my nameday. Or, more specifically, the day after my nameday."

"Oh..." That's why I was drinking so much last night, Tala's brain offers belatedly. "Did I wish you a happy nameday?"

"You could say that, yes," Katrja says, entering the room with a gleeful smile on her face. "Good morning, Tala."

"No... no, it isn't..." Tala shields her eyes from the light of the hallway. "Can you shut the door and lower your voice..."

"And whose fault is that?" Katrja says, not at all lowering her voice. She seems to take some kind of pleasure in the way Tala cringes away from the sound. "How is the former nameday girl doing in there?"

"I object in every way to this 'gift' and I demand to be released!" Reina shouts from Tala's middle, prompting Tala to lift her shirt and take a peek.

Her middle has the vague outline of the Lalafellin girl inside, but... Reina is small enough (and Tala's stomach is tight enough, now that Tala's headache has faded enough to feel it) that it doesn't make very much of a bulge.

"Oh, are you getting tired of the festivities already? But there's still so much more to do!" Katrja says, leaning over and resting a loving hand on Tala's stomach. Though it's not hard to tell she's doing this to be nice... "You complained about not getting any cake..."

"Making Tala eat the cake while I'm in here doesn't count as me getting cake, no!" Reina shouts indignantly. Having her captor be awake finally seems to have energized her some, as now she's moving around a lot more.

Tala can at least think clearly enough to find her star globe and focus the stars' soft light into her head, which clears things up a lot more. "Look, I'm sorry, I don't even remember last night..."

"How convenient!" Reina grumbles.

"What really is convenient is that I recorded everything last night," Katrja says, holding up a tomestone and waggling it. "And you want to know what happened, right?"

"Yes!" Tala grabs for it, but Katrja pulls it away.

"Ah ah~h!" Katrja holds it just out of her reach. "What you did to Reina is frankly unfair. Not only did you eat her on her own nameday, at her own nameday party, but you ate her cake, too, and she didn't get any."

"Wh- You made her eat it! I heard you do it!" Small bumps formed by an equally small fist - or maybe a foot - pop out briefly here and there around Tala's stomach. "Don't pretend to be sympathetic now!"

"So," Katrja continues, undeterred. "You should make her a new one. Unfortunately, it would appear that whoever was making the cake yesterday used up the last of the cream and snurbleberries. And we can't have a nameday cake without cream and snurbleberries, now can we?"

"No. I mean yes. Yes we can. But no to what you're doing." You don't have to be able to read the stars to know what Katrja is planning here.

"I want my new cake to have cream and snurbleberries on it, yes," Reina says, oblivious.

Katrja spreads her hands. Her mouth says "It can't be helped," but her eyes say "Just as planned."

"Kat, don't do this." Tala groans, rubbing her face. "I am so not ready to-"

"So! You'll have to go out and get them fresh from the markets," Katrja says brightly. "Up, up, let's go!"

Tala lets out a long, low moan. "Alright... I'm going..." She drags herself into a standing position - squishing her passenger into a tight ball along the way. Reina is not happy about this when she finally stands up.

"You can let me out now! And until you do, can't you be a little more careful?" Reina protests.

"No, there was some reason I had to keep you in here," Tala says, searching her memory. It comes up entirely blank. Lixia, do you remember why I had to do this?

I do, but I'm with Katrja, it'll be more fun when you watch the video! Lixia says, her voice teasing.

Tala grunts. It's probably your fault I drank so much last night... I remember I let you take over to wish her a happy nameday... And that's about it.

I'm innocent, Lixia says, though Tala can feel her glee saying otherwise.

"Fine," Reina grumbles. "You can keep this up just a little bit longer. But then you'd better figure out a way to do this that doesn't involve keeping me in here!"

Tala swallows hard. "Heeere we go..."

===

The market wards are crowded with people as ever. Civilians wandering and chatting. Guards keeping the peace. Shouting retainers hawking their wares. Off-duty adventurers eying up fine weapons. Cooks looking for ingredients.

It's among this latter group that Tala is trying her damnedest to blend in, despite feeling supremely self-conscious about the bulge under her shirt. Why couldn't I have worn a looser shirt to last night's party? she wails in her mind. I just know someone's going to see her...

First of all, I wouldn't have let you. Second of all, I don't think you own anything looser than this.

That was a rhetorical question, Lixia, but thanks, Tala grumbles.

"It's getting really loud," Reina notices finally. "... Did you go to the market with me in here?!"

"Shhh!" Tala's face goes abruptly red hot. "Do you want people to hear you?" She holds her hand up to her ear as if talking on a linkpearl, so as not to rouse suspicion.

"Are those people going to get me out of here? Because in that case, yes!" Reina draws in a big breath to shout -

- and suddenly it's driven out of her by her own knees as they shove up into her chest. Tala begins looping the obi around her waist, pulling it tight so that Reina's confines are too cramped for her to yell too much. "H-Hey... ow... do you realize how tight this is?!"

Tala hums to herself, rubbing her stomach through the cloth of the obi absentmindedly. "Just relax, I just need to find someone who sells berries..."

"I'm not going to relax!" Reina says, but she gives her resistance a rest for the moment. It's very clear that she's not going to be getting out anytime soon, anyway...

A familiar excitable voice comes from behind Tala. "Tala? Tala Chalahko? Is that you? I'm surprised you're out here so early!"

Getting recognized by anyone was the last thing Tala wanted while she had a stomach full of Reina... much less someone she recognized as one of Reina's friends. "Uh, hey there..."

Lilsi.

"Lilsi," Tala says, sending feelings of gratitude toward Lixia in her mind. "You were at the party last night, weren't you?"

"Yes! It was so much fun, wasn't it? I hope we can throw a party like that on her next nameday, too!"

"Oh, yeah, it was lots of fun..." Tala swallows back her confusion. Admitting she doesn't remember what happened would just be weird, especially since this Lalafell doesn't seem to think anything strange went on. She must have left early. Right?

My lips are sealed, Lixia teases.

I take it back, you're a jerk, Tala thinks, pouting. Aloud, she says, "So... morning market trip?"

"You know, just shopping and so on. Where's Reina?"

Oh gods. "She's... um... resting it off, it was a very long party, you know..." Tala desperately hopes her babbling appears casual, and that Lilsi won't look a few ilms up and see the faint bulges in her stomach. Though the little Lalafell looks pretty hefty too, doesn't she? Or does she always look like that? Gods, Tala can't remember.

"Oh, I totally get it," Lilsi says with an exaggerated, conspiratorial wink. "Tell her I'll see her next week for dinner!"

"Um, okay..."

With Lilsi having left, Tala stops unconsciously scrunching her stomach in, and Reina finally manages to get enough range of motion to scream out. "I'm in here!"

"I don't think she can hear you, it's pretty loud," Tala mumbles, belatedly realizing just how hot her face is. "And you're pretty quiet..."

"Well I wouldn't have been if you hadn't shoved me in a ball with my knees in my kidneys," Reina retorts.

"You don't want me to get caught either! It will be really embarrassing! ... For both of us!" Tala prods her stomach.

A distant voice screams for help, jerking Tala's gaze upright.

A young Miqo'te woman is surrounded by hostile-looking Hyurs. The guards - perhaps paid off - stand nearby, very blatantly looking the other way.

Without thinking, Tala takes off like a shot.

"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO STOP!!!" Reina shouts from her stomach, but Tala is too caught up in heroics to notice.

The stomach bounces violently around Reina, tossing her up and down in the slick stomach interior. Cramped though her quarters are, there's still just enough room for her to be tossed like an unfortunate bug in the jar of a less-than-gentle captor.

When Tala arrives, her knives drawn and her stance spread, she opens her mouth to shout a challenge.

What comes out instead is a roaring belch. "Let her gyo-oooooooooOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAUUUUUURP!"

The leader of the little gang of ... muggers, maybe? turns her head toward Tala, nearly bursting out laughing. "How intimidating."

"hoooUURP." Tala responds, her cheeks burning hot. She can't seem to stop herself... all that movement with a full stomach has totally released what had long lain dormant.... No matter how embarrassing a scene she's cutting (and it's quite embarrassing, even the would-be victim is staring at her like she's got two heads) her body is desperate to make some room in her stomach. "uurp."

"Are you finished?" the leader says, laughter on her face while her underlings roar their amusement behind her. "Did you have something to say?"

"I was going to say let her go," Tala says, eager to recover her composure and her grip on the situation.

"I... would also like to know... whether the earthquakes are finished..." Reina says, dazed. Some of the fight has blessedly gone out of her, Tala notes mentally. Maybe belching is a useful way to control her meal.

That's funny, Lixia says. You made the same realization last night.

Tala's heart seems to fall into her stomach. Just what happened last night?

===

"I'm home," Tala says, stepping out of her shoes. "Or, I guess, we're home. And I got the cake materials. Can you just show me the tomestone?"

She pauses by the sofa.

"Alun?"

Alun is sleeping face-down on the sofa, her backside raised in the air. This isn't just about the pose she's in - it's also just a matter of space.

Her massive stomach is pressing into the sofa.

The dark-haired Viera appears, leaning against the doorway. "Welcome back."

"Now that we're home, can you please let me out and never do that again?" Reina grumbles. She's recovered - somewhat - from her ordeal, but not by much.

To Katrja's raised eyebrows, Tala explains, "Um, yeah. I, uh, saw someone in trouble at the market... I ran over to help, and I couldn't stop belching... it was humiliating. I think they left because they felt bad for me, not because I intimidated them at all..."

Katrja laughs, clapping a hand on Tala's shoulder. "Oh, I wish I'd been there! ... to help!"

"You don't mean that."

"I don't!" Katrja says, grinning. She moves to the sofa, shaking Alun's shoulders.

The Auri woman's eyelashes flutter. "Muh... still tired... five more minutes..."

"No, you have an appointment with a white mage in about half an hour."

"'mfine..."

"You have some apologizing to do to Reina's friends, who just came here to have a good time."

At this, Alun's eyes snap open. "Huh?"

"Just what I said. You remember all those girls you ate last night?"

Alun thinks this over. "No... I remember some of them..."

"You should bring that level of honesty into your apologies," Katrja says. Her voice is stern, but Tala can just hear the anticipation lying underneath.

"Kat..." Tala puts a hand to her forehead. "Can you just show me the tomestone already? Even the stars can only do so much for this headache, and I just want to lay down and go to sleep..."

"Not without letting me out you don't!" Reina pipes up, prompting Tala to tighten the obi slightly. In response, Reina delivers a kick that manages to pull the loose knot out of the obi... and pop three of Tala's buttons. They ping across the room, bouncing off of the floor as they go.

"Well, I hope you're proud of yourse-E-EEAAURP." Tala covers her face. She still can't get this problem under control.

Katrja grins, holding out the tomestone. "Go have a watch. I think you've suffered enough for now."

"So you want me to suffer in a different way, is that it?" Tala says flatly.

"Oh, Tala, we do know each other so well..." Katrja slaps Tala on the back, then kicks Alun in the thigh. "Come on, lazy dragon. Up and at 'em! You don't want to miss your apology tour!"

As Tala leaves to the rec room, she spots over her shoulder Alun covering her head with a pillow and moaning. "Noooo.... I don't wanna see them again, that's why I ate them..."

At least she's not suffering alone. She flops down on the couch, putting her hands on her stomach for a moment and breathing steadily before activating the tomestone. "Let's see what happened last night..."

The image in the tomestone shows the group jumping out of their hiding spots at Reina, who wastes no time drawing her staff before realizing what the surprise is.

"Aww, we really scared you, huh?"

"It was a long day," Reina says irritably. "Not made any shorter by spending the last few hours of it in your stomach."

"O-Okay, I'll skip ahead to see... huh. I'm wearing a different top in this than I am now," Tala says, confused. She swipes across the tomestone, moving it ahead quickly. "Is it just me, or are there not that many guests anymore? Did that many people leave?"

"Not so much 'leave' as... 'flirt with Alun,'" Katrja explains, settling down on the couch next to her. Her flowing robes leave much to the imagination. Unlike Tala's shirt, which was already practically skin-tight before it burst open and exposed her bare stomach... Tala pouts, turning her attention back to the tomestone. "So that's why Alun's not here..."

"She was in the other room, drinking a lot in hopes that she would be less embarrassed," Katrja confirms. "I think her hope was that this would prevent her from being quite so... snacky. But, as you can see, it had quite the opposite effect!"

"You sound happy about that," Tala mutters. She can see, even at this speed, that Lixia took over for a little while - both because she's a lot more flirtatious and because of the rate at which she's drinking. You DID get me drunk again.

You weren't drinking much! Lixia replies, not denying it. I just wanted you to have a good time.

"There," Katrja says. "See if this jogs your memory."

===

"You didn't ruin anything," Reina said, wringing the alcohol out of her hair. She made a face, but then gave Tala's leg a reassuring pat. "Accidents happen, especially at parties like this. I'm glad you're all here."

"I know, but I want to make it up to you," Tala said earnestly. She drew a star globe out of the bag at her side, enchanting it with just a touch of heavenly energy to set it gently spinning. "Everyone likes seeing a fortune being read, right?"

===

"Oh gods, the cycle is totally off," Tala says, covering her eyes. "How drunk was I at this point?"

"Consider that you were sitting because you couldn't stand straight, as demonstrated by you nearly pouring your drink all over Reina's head," Katrja says. "I don't know how drunk you consider that."

Tala groans.

===

"Okay," Reina said, leaning forward. "Read my future!"

"Mmm..." Tala closed her eyes, swaying back and forth with the rhythm of her globe's jerky movements. "I see... The stars of warmth are in your sign right now... so you will become closer to someone you care about very soon, just as long as you don't try too hard to push them away."

"Oh, that sounds nice," Reina said, tilting her head. "I wonder who it could be? There's a lot of people in this room I'd love to get closer with... And what do you mean by pushing them away?"

"And further! ... your moon sign is... trine with the... house of fire, uurp, so that means, your inner life is sure to heat up delicately soon..."

===

Tala covers her face. "Oh my gods."

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Katrja says cheerfully. "You were the party's best entertainment!"

"No, not that, I..." Remembering her passenger, Tala finishes her sentence mentally. None of that is at all right. It doesn't even make sense.

It was quite intentional, as you gleefully told me at the time, Lixia says, amusement in her voice.

I was making it up? Why?

===

The cards flew from Tala's deck holster into her hand of their own accord. Making use of an old parlor trick she'd learned early in her studies, she tossed the cards into the air, letting them circle around her star globe in a chaotic frenzy before settling into a neat deck in the palm of her hand. "Your past, present, and future..."

She dealt out three cards. "It is here. In these cards."

Reina leaned in closer.

"Your past..." She turned a card up. "The Spire. You have suffered greatly, and yet, it has only made you stronger. Remember this when future trials make you suffer..."

She turned another card up as she passed her hand over it. "Your present... The Ewer. You will soon be soaked in the love of a friend, held safe in the vessel of her affection..."

Reina's eyebrows went up. "That's two results for increasing my friendship with others. This might be my year as far as friendship goes!"

"And your future..."

She peeked at the card. The Arrow? That doesn't work at all.

Change her future, then!

"Mmm, yes, your future..." She passed her hands over the deck, then over the future, covertly - or at least as covertly as she could manage with way too much alcohol in her system - swapping the card she'd drawn for the one on the table. Thankfully, Reina didn't notice. She flipped it over.

"The Balance..."

"What does the Balance mean?" Reina asked eagerly.

"That you will.... make someone tip the scales..." Tala murmured, covering her mouth in horror. "But. We are tasked with not only seeing the future written in the stars... but rewriting it. I can protect you, Reina Valette. If you only will it..."

"What can you do to protect me?" Reina asked. "Yes, I want you to protect me!"

"Close your eyes. Let the feeling of the stars' power wash over you," Tala said, her voice distant and ethereal.

"This should be good," Katrja said from behind the camera.

"Shut up, Kat," Tala said, keeping the mystical tone to her voice. "Don't ruin her present..."

Reina felt Tala's hands stroke up and down her arms. The rhythm of it was soothing, and Tala's hands were soft and gentle.

"Breathe in time with my breath," Tala murmured. "When I run my hands up your arm, breathe in... and as my fingertips reach your wrists, breathe out..."

Reina's breathing slowed to match the rhythm of Tala's movements. "Mm..."

"Now concentrate on the stars or whatever..."

Reina's eyebrows went down in confusion. Or whatever? ... Well, Tala is very drunk right now...

Tala's grip suddenly tightened on her upper arms, her fingertips digging into Reina's shoulders with some force.

Before Reina could protest, the faint warmth she could feel from overhead turned into a full-on rush of hot breath - followed swiftly by a wet and slightly rough tongue brushing over her face, tickling her cheeks -

And then a rough glp shoved her head into Tala's throat.

Reina could certainly protest now, but with Tala's throat pinning her down tightly, it wasn't like she could get much force to her shouts...

Her body thrashed, lashed out in every direction. Almost completely unthinkingly, her feet flying back and forth in the air. She felt Tala's hand grab on to her ankle, the helplessness of having her arms pinned by Tala's lips and her ankle held in place by Tala's surprisingly firm grip -

Another gulp carried her hips into Tala's throat. As her legs were gradually restrained - as Tala's lips closed over her feet - as her head smushed down into the bottom of Tala's tight stomach - she felt the last of the freedom disappear.

"You know, it's cheating to say that my fortune is to be eaten and then do it y-"

"GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARP"

"U-urgh..."

Tala covered her mouth, blushing. "Heheh... Sorry, I interrupted you..."

"Don't do that..." Reina mumbled, dazed from the force of the belch.

"Oh, this? hooourp" Tala giggled, trying to push another burp out.

===

"How long does this go on? I'm afraid to ask," Tala says, watching through her fingers.

"Way too long," Reina says irritably.

"About half an hour," Katrja says. "Here, let me skip ahead."

She swipes her finger over the tomestone, skipping ahead.

"Wait, stop it there," Tala says. The image returns to normal speed, just in time for Alun to come along and belch into the camera with a stomach easily three times her size. "No, a little further back. There."

There. The fat little Lalafell from earlier today.

"She was here for this part?" Tala squeaks.

===

"I should have thought to give her a present like that," Lilsi said, patting Tala's stuffed Reina-filled belly. "When do you think you'll be done with her?"

"I need to keep her for a week to avert the terrible fate I foresaw for her..." Tala said, stroking her stomach. "It's impo-oourp-tant."

"A WEEK? You're joking!" Reina squeaked. "Whatever fate you foresaw for me can't be that bad!"

"I can wait a week," Lilsi said lightly. "Where's that cake..."

"Oooh, cake..." Katrja said from behind the camera. "Stay there."

===

Katrja takes the tomestone back, tucking it into her pocket. "Anyway, there's not much interesting after this... You eat a bunch of cake, your shirt rips, I spend a while stroking your stomach, the usual..."

"Wait, I don't remember that last part!" Tala says, sitting forward.

"I'm busy trying to distance myself from your sinful actions, so I'm not gonna show it to you," Katrja says. She hiccups, and a bra splats on the floor.

"Wait... You were eating people at the party, too!" Tala says suddenly, standing up and pointing accusingly. "And you made me eat the cake! This was all your doing!"

Katrja puts on an enigmatic face. "We have no way of knowing."

"Don't get angry," Reina says, suddenly cautious. "Don't get too excited- GAH!"

Tala races toward Katrja. "Get back here! Give me that, I want to see it!"

"Someone please tell her to let me out! It's my nameday week for gods' sake!!"